Wednesday, May 19


Well, this post is dedicated to Malvika Asher, the first and only person till date who has asked me to update my blog!

So, this post is for you, Ei what re?

I was watching Rock On recently and suddenly realized the answers of many unanswered questions of my life. I never ever noticed the character of Rob. He wanted to live his life to the fullest for one last time. He had the support of his friends who wished to fulfill his desire. He died after living his dream, that of creating music with the people he wanted to. His character could have been showed in the light which we have seen in many earlier Hindi films, making him die of ‘LINFO CERCOMA OF THE INTESTINE’ (Anand was a great film and by no chance I’m trying to be demeaning). But Rob was not in pain. He was at peace. He knew what would happen and made agreement to it. He was ambitious and fought to make it happen. He died but only after he did what he wanted to. His passion got hold of lives of so many. They all came together because of him. He not only had achieved his goal but he also had peace. What is amazing is the fact that it is not because he bought peace, but he managed to somehow understand the meaning of it.

I was watching the film for the nth number of time but Rob never occurred to me. But today I understood the meaning of peace in bits (no one can understand it in its entirety as no one is god including God!). And it is immensely satisfying to know of certain things about life. At least to know that they exist.

It’s been ages since I last updated my blog because of all which was happening in my life. Most of it was concerned with COMPENSATING my attendance, to take it up to 90! It took me 38 hours in college and 6 days over all. And finally I left for home!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was excited, happy, sad and sadder, and mostly unsatisfied. I hadn’t expected to finish the term in such a way. It was one real bad phase of my life. And I mean it when I say ‘bad phase’. There are two reasons for me to call it so, first being that many events were simply undesirable and many were just too heavy to accept, and the other being that it has finished finally so I can call it a ‘phase’.

I wanted to get on with life and be with my dear ones. It was almost suffocating to be there anymore than I did. I left the city with a little bit of joy and mostly pain. I wish if it could have been a little better! But then, to experience these things are necessary in making a life, complete.

Life is definitely better here. I think just not better but fulfilling, to see people who care for you, and want you in their life. They really make life worth living. I needed them just at this moment and I have them. They have revitalized me and I’m back on track now. It’s like a new life and I’m living every bit of it.

Honestly, it’s peace which is all I need at this point in life.

Moral of the story- keep looking for different characters in films. Who knows you might get something new!!

Wednesday, May 5


The given is a story about this village landlord in the region of Bengal who is in his mid 40’s. He has a young child who adores his father for his integrity. The landlord gets a letter one day which leaves him baffled as he has to leave his land, because of being unable to repay a loan taken from the government. He tries through all means to repay but is unable to do so. His son understands his plight and sees him taking to alcoholism. Soon, after fighting a lot with himself, he succumbs to liver cancer leaving his child alone to take care of his mother.

( I thought I should also put up my assignment)

Tuesday, April 13


Finally, KKR is out of IPL officially and this is the third consecutive occasion. Tired of Dada and SRK apologizing time and again. Just not happening for them. They try hard every time but sometimes it just doesn't go your way. This was one such unfortunate incident.

The team tries to play well but when it comes close to a win, they just lose. Every loss could be felt when one looked at those fiery eyes of Dada turning sad. Just now Shah Rukh Khan said that he will not promise anything for the next season as it is futile to talk about. Their chances are not bleak,their efforts are. That is what bothers everyone. Not that they don't work in the right direction, the output is not worth it!
Sadly, we are out this season also!!

Sometimes, your efforts go unnoticed and unrecognized. Now, I understand! Doesn't matter how hard you hard you try, its the final result which is you are known for! And I can guarantee I have understood this really well now. I always believed in this theory but its understanding was not as much. Really life teaches you every day, every moment!

Last couple of weeks haven't been that great, to put it mildly. Every step taken was either wrong or proved to be so. In fact the consequences have been a little undesirable. Yeah. So what if I didn't intend to do anything which could cause troubles to anyone, from friends to foes to none. But the thing is that it turned out to be exactly the case. Maybe, once again, I got it all wrong. Sometimes the third person perspective is so much more convenient and soothing. Can we opt to live as a third person and watch our lives unfolding in front of us without being affected? No we can't. Honestly, I don't want it to happen that way. It will limit my perspective. Also, these roller coaster rides will also be denied by life for 'supposedly COWARDS' if they don't want to experience it first hand.

The efforts to better what you did last time around also goes waste because half your energies are wasted on inconsequential elements while the other half goes on lamenting what happened previously.More often than not, these pessimistic thoughts are passed onto the near ones and because they are 'near', they also manage to cause problems for themselves. In other words, "all izzz NOT well".

This is the your real test. This is the time when you need to get up and dust yourself. This is the time when you need to reinstate faith in yourself and commit yourself to fighting these situations. This is the challenge which life puts across to you.Fight it or perish.This is what makes you a winner or a loser....

The most successful captain of INDIAN cricket was once shown the doorway. A very clearly chalked out strategy was used to keep him away. He was told to retire. He said "I WON'T". He fought. He fought with great determination and 2 years later, he was brought back. He outplayed everyone on the ground. In fact, he outplayed himself. He was called the 'MASTER OF COMEBACKS'. He won that battle because he fought.
He always have been and will continue to do so forever...

"Saamne vijay ho ya parajay, yodha ka dharm hai larna. Akhri saans tak, khoon ke aakhri katre tak, larna".

Fighting is life's essence, and winning is the way especially if you have lost something....

Monday, April 5


The other day I saw Hey Ram for the first time (ashamed of it). I guess it was shown for the brilliance of it and not otherwise!
I was in a state of trance for sometime. I didn't know whom to talk to or whom to shout at? I was just unhappy and sad. The reason was the same old cliched question- where is the 'unity in diversity'?

Cliched, I know.

But what I don't know is till when are we going to do this to none but ourselves? Till when?
I am brought up in a place which has a history of communal riots, last one happened couple of years ago(not huge but still). That divide is still there and growing deeper and deeper. I was always told to be apprehensive of 'these' people. I never understood it. Never. In fact, my school had more students from a particular area where people from a particular community lived. I was terrified with the way people from a particular community treated the others. I was horrified. Thanks to my upbringing and some films,I understood the cause (just a bit) very early. I was away from that divide yet always near. The most important element of all this is the fact that not a single person could furnish me a concrete answer to this question- "why are they different from us?". Some would say that they are traitors, some would say they are 'Kaafir'. I could not believe my ears. Any rational Indian wouldn't. They had no answer whatsoever!
I tried to do some research and find out why and when this all started.

It all began in the late 19th century when both the communities were getting united to fight for independence. Their unity was short lived because British were clever enough to use the policy still used for the same- 'Divide and Rule'. The result was a Muslim League formed by Mohammed Ali Jinnah, historically believed to be one of the most secular leaders. What followed was battle for supremacy and in some years we got independence. We got India minus Pakistan. That was the seed planted by the then leaders and we bear the brunt of it till today and will continue to do so forever.
There were wars in 1948, 65 and 71. We won every time but what we lost is trust. Trust in ourselves.

I don't care for Pakistan because that is a mistake which cannot be undone now. So lets grant that.
What I care for is what happened to people who live in our country. We were supposed to be the most diverse country, culturally. What happened to us?
We forgot that some people chose to live in India while some never wanted to go. They became a part of the UNION OF INDIA.

They are part of India. But what have we done? We have written history with each other's blood, at many instances. Some popular cases are the 89 riots,Babri demolition, 93 riots and many more. We have exploited all the chances to the utmost and will continue to do so.

We have some really worthy leaders like Varun Gandhi who believe in 'chopping off hands' while others believe in questioning national icons who have done the country proud so many times because they are of A particular community.They don't consider the fact that the other person's father was one of the youngest freedom fighters while they haven't done anything worth mentioning. I am sorry, I forgot they gave us Babri demolition,93 riots. But they would say what about the 'Bombay' blasts and my answer is simple- "hang the guilty, not the people who unfortunately belong to a religion these murderers say they belong to".

Many a times, sorry all the time the sufferer is no one but the common man who wants bread and a roof. Thats all that he needs. But he gets things more than that so many times. We can take names from that of the three ruling Khans(common example) to the former president APJ Abdul Kalam, from Mir Ranjan Negi to Irfan Pathan and Ashfaqullah Khan to Bhagat Singh. Some have died and others will follow but they will never be able to prove that these religions have become a part of India's DNA now!
You cant deny that if not accept it.

Everyone who says that he/she wants to safeguard the interest of a particular community is lying because religion is practiced behind closed doors. It is the vested interest which becomes the driving force and the common man suffers. The whole country suffers. India suffers.!

A child who is too innocent to understand all this is made to understand that he is different from another child of his age because he wears a white cap on Fridays!

History has it that you cannot isolate these two but it also has that you cant get them together.

Maybe we will continue to write novels, make films and do whatever we can to bring them together, fact is we cant unless they want.
Maybe I don't agree with Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi but I agree with him once,when i hear


Wednesday, March 24


( Includes excerpts from my diary)

Well, Devang has already written about almost everything and I don't want to repeat them. I will tell you this from my angle which is probably different from any other.

" its 12.40 in the morning and I am sitting at the marine drive"

The day started with the news that I would be watching the Mumbai Indians vs Kolkata Knight Riders match at the Brabourne stadium in the VIP lounge. I was more than happy. It was beyond it. Maybe ecstatic. But I knew it would be a day I will remember forever. I was waiting for the classes to get over. And as they did, I went back to my house and got dressed up. I would be lying if I say that I was casual about it. We went to station straightaway and while Devang was probably brimming with excitement, I was trying to be calm. I was. We reached the station bought the tickets and boarded the train. We started our journey at 3.30 and I wasn't certain of my emotions at that moment. I just stood there and listened to the music while he was blabbering. I was getting disturbed because I was trying to imagine someone in place of a moron standing in front of me. I was at peace while all this was going on. 4 hours later, I was in queue at the Dadar station and was trying to reach the Vodafone house as quickly as possible. 10 minutes later, we were running faster than a sports bike. I was running as if my life was at stake. We did not want to miss the match. I had the tickets in my hand as we were running back to Lower Parel station. 20 mins later and a lot of struggle (to find the place and with the security), I stepped inside the Brabourne stadium.

"the song is nice and I am doing the most cliched thing. writing."

As I stepped in,I heard a huge roar. "Sachin Sachin Sachin........". It was something which I had never heard before. It was my first visit to a stadium. I was enjoying Sachin's batting. As they say, even I saw god! Dada's team was not in the best of form and it was showing. Because of the VIP pass, we were allowed to take as much advantage as we could. I took four PEPSI and was unapologetic( people from UP can understand it). While KKR (my team) was losing I was enjoying myself. With a PEPSI in one hand and popcorn in the other I was looking at Dada who was fielding at some 20 feet from me. It was unimaginable for me who is almost like a devotee. There, my hero was standing! I was.. , I dont know how to explain. I took in everything as much as I could as the match was coming to an end just when Dada took a marvellous catch. Hopes were revived but to no use as they lost the match.
We lost the match and the wounded tiger was going back to his den.

"I am happy today"

We went inside the VVIP pass area and saw all the players. I took an autograph of Lalit Modi. Sounds weird but I did what I felt like doing at that moment. Then I took an autograph from Nita Ambani. Devang was excited. sample:

Devang to Nita: " ma'am can you please sign twice?

I was surprised. But just then I saw Dada moving towards his car. I started moving too. Even though I was walking, I was running from inside (if you can understand). I followed him and just when I was almost some 4 steps away from him, a policeman stopped me. I missed him. He was gone. But maybe it is because I will get to interview him one day. Maybe..
But I was surprised at the fact that we saw so many so-called-stars when we were not allowed to do so. It was fun. As we came out of the stadium, I saw Anjali Doshi (senior correspondent, NDTV 24*7). We chatted with her for 5 mins after which we went to the Marine Drive.

"simple joys of life"

I was sitting there at the marine drive all alone ( I had sent Devang for a walk). I started writing in my new diary (blog is an extension). I was thinking of something and wrote it down. I was thinking of my parents who got me here, I was thinking of a friend who made me what I am and I was thinking of...(sorry, cant tell you guys). I was at peace with myself after a long time, especially after a torturous last week. I was calm and satisfied, trying to befriend the sea. I was happy. I was sure that it was a once in a lifetime experience...

"I want this moment to be still. forever."

We then started walking towards the Dadar station. A long and tiring journey. So, we hired a cab and went to Dadar bus station. We again got a cab which dropped us at the Pune station at 6.15 and I was home by 6.35 am.

" like all good things this has to come to an end.
it HAS".

P.S- Thank you Devang!

Sunday, March 21


David Headley has pleaded guilty on all 12 charges and cannot be extradited to India. Besides, he has struck a deal with the US government by signing the plea agreement. In the agreement, Headley has admitted to conspiring with LeT members, meeting with and receiving instructions from them. He has also admitted to attending training camps organized by LeT in Pakistan on 5 separate occasions. He has also admitted to being privy to the attacks planned in Mumbai and dispatch the team of attackers, by sea.

What is striking is the fact that the person who is guilty (now admitted) of the havoc done in Mumbai on 26/11 cannot be questioned by India on the Indian soil. Yes, India has been allowed to interrogate him only on American soil.

He will most probably be sentenced for 20 years of imprisonment, suggest experts. Indian government says that this is the minimum sentence and anything lesser than that is unacceptable. 20 years of imprisonment (death penalty not possible) for a person who can be called a mass murderer? Ironic.

Is this what this government has to offer? Aren’t they supposed to safeguard India’s interest? Yes, they want to maintain good relations with US, but at what cost? The trial of Kasab is going on at a pace unimaginable, especially when the charge sheet consists of more than 11,000 pages and enough evidence to sentence him to death.

When should the common man expect justice? Will it always take eternity to get justice? The victims of 84 riots, Mumbai blasts in 93, 02’Godhra and so many more are still awaiting their turn for justice. Will they always get dates and summons to appear in the court? Are 17 or 20 years not enough to prove that some people are guilty and should be put behind the bars? Isn’t this a blot on the white fabric of the country which aspires to be a superpower?

The judicial system is floored in the country and one cannot deny that unless that is made good for, people like David headley will always get away.

Monday, March 15



What is it?
Who has seen it? What is the definition of success?

I don't know and want to understand this concept. This concept, which alienates me from some other people just because they have Mercedes and I have Maruti, is difficult for me to comprehend. I have tried many times to find out what is it that makes someone a little more special, a little more powerful and a little more wealthy. And every time I have, I have fallen flat in the face. I thought it was the debate competition in school which I won that made me successful. I thought it was my admission to a prestigious college which made me successful. I thought that all of it was my success.

Then one day, I see some people who are as talented if not more and are much more successful in all that which I mentioned above and in many other things. In fact, I sometimes wonder if i'm anywhere even close to them . They have accomplished so much more than just a debate trophy. They are really ahead and I don't think that I would be able to catch up in the near future.

Was I ever successful in the first place? I'm confused.

I got it all wrong, I was not successful neither was I deserving. I was just a flash in the pan, not even that. I am just another creature on this hugely populated planet. Maybe it wasn't worth it!

But I always have this question in mind. Are only Filmstars (Shah Rukh Khan for college people, so that they can laugh) Sportsmen, Ambanis and Birlas successful? What about people who never shared the limelight? Are they not successful in their own right? Is it only a 27 storey house (with 6 floors of parking) that defines your success? Oh yes, that is probably the case.

But that denies the mother's pride which she has in her son's success (so called success). Isn't it?

"The only regret that I have is that my parents are not with me to see my success" said Shah Rukh Khan. Is he successful? Or is he not?

I want to be journalist, a big journalist. I want to make films and that too, hugely successful. But what is disturbing me is that neither do I know the meaning of big nor do i know what is ' hugely successful'.

What is success?

Sunday, March 14


Women’s reservation bill passed. Finally. Is this what we have waited for so long? Is it truly a symbol of women empowerment? Is it a social change?

Well, the answer to these questions can only be found if we introspect. Yes, it was very courageous of this government to introduce such a bill in this session despite such a strong and staunch opposition. It took 14 years for the bill to get introduced in Rajya Sabha and get passed. Yes, there is little doubt that it will get passed in the Lok Sabha, whenever it is introduced, this session or next.

The UPA chief has shown a strong leadership in the face of such odds. She wants that change, she wants them now and she is ready to risk the government if it takes that. The people who are opposing the bill such as Lalu Prasad Yadav and Mulayam Singh Yadav have threatened to withdraw their support from the government (their number of MP’s in the Lok Sabha is 26) which is almost inconsequential as far as the fate of the bill is concerned.

This bill has come in the second innings of this government and without any doubt will further strengthen the strong foundation which the RTI Act and NREGA laid in the previous term. They were historical legislations in their own right, RTI being a really important one, and were influential in improving the credibility of the government. And women’s reservation bill is following suit.

The bigger question is whether it is truly a symbol of change, be it a social change or at least in the attitude of the government. It is the UPA chairperson who forces one to believe that it is indeed the social change which the country wants. She is the person who believes that the country can develop only if the participation of the women increases in all the walks of life. This belief is strong enough for her to go ahead with the bill and this is not the first time that her conviction has prompted her to take huge steps. Her decisions on the social issues related legislations are evidence enough that change is needed and the people want them to happen quickly.

There are enough people who are still showing their discomfort with the bill, with each one citing a different reason, but the fact remains that it is a small step attempted to help the country move in the right direction. The debate was never about this bill or any other, it was always about that change which this country has longed for and this may not be the ultimate tool to bring about a sea change, but there is no doubt that it is a step forward.